Answering the Challenge

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Me — Take That Ann Litts!

One: I am 63 years old which in itself is nothing special. I did grow up in the 70s and never smoked a joint, weed, doobie, or taken any other “controlled” substance. It is probably why I was destined to be an accountant. (see stereotype)

This is the real me to the left and you can see what clean living can do for you…Not a damn thing.

Two: I miss the business dress code and prefer suits and ties to business casual. I still own an extensive tie collection and insist on long sleeved shirts with button-down collars. (see stereotype)

Three: Chicken. It is my go-to meal. Guilty pleasure? Vienna Fingers. Preferred beverage? Unsweet Iced Tea (back to stereotype).

Four: I like to tilt at windmills. I have written to Chase Manhattan, or whatever they are called now and gotten the interest rate changed on my credit card. It took six months and I learned that if you want action, find the highest level person in public relations.

Twice I got the IRS to rescind assessed taxes for myself and once for a friend. Uncle Sam is the Mother Of All Windmills, don’t you think?

Dream the Impossible Dream

My next target is Wells Fargo. Why? They cheat. I don’t like cheaters and while Mr. Sloan (CEO since 2015) should be given an opportunity to right the ship, I don’t hold out much hope since he is a Wells Fargo lifer and ingrained in their (Dewy, Cheatem and Howe) culture. I am watching the news to see if I am right about their next scandal. (Hint, keep an eye on their mortgage department.)

Five: Baseball. Here in lies all that’s right with America. Summer, hot dogs, a cold beer, stunning greenery, and diamonds. More than 200 times per game there is a pitcher against batter conflict. There is also something appealing to my bean-counter brain about the 9's of the game. (All numeric transposition errors are divisible by 9)

I love the game because I played. In 1967 I hit a triple in a little league playoff game that put us ahead. I can still see the curve ball and remember how I felt. I know exactly how every player feels when they get “that hit” or make “that catch”. Everyone should feel that way once in their life.

I am a Yankee fan. I went to my first game in 1960, saw Mickey Mantle, got hooked and would never, EVER considered another team.

Six: I believe the widening void between the middle class and the wealthy is very dangerous. The point is middle class is still middle class and what were millionaires in the 90’s are now multi-billionaires.

It scares me. There may not be a revolution in my lifetime, but it is coming. Remember you heard it here first.

Seven: I don’t use shaving cream. I shave almost everyday (I am an accountant, remember?) and one day about 35 years ago the Barbasol can was empty and I didn’t cut myself, swear I got a closer shave and I haven’t used anything since.

I am particular about my blades and recently had to abandon my Sensor Excel blades because I am sure that Gillette cheapened the steel. The last blades I bought were different and didn’t last as long and they hurt. I still use Gillette, but a three blade cartridge and not my two-blade Excel.

The great obsolete the blade conspiracy! And — Dammit Blades are Expensive. I am adding Gillette to my windmill list to get to the bottom of the Sensor Excel Obsolescence conspiracy.

Eight: I am Roman Catholic, born and raised. I dabbled in Catholic Lite when married (Episcopal). I share the common experience of having ones’ knuckles smacked with a metal ruler by Sister Mary Agnacious Regis Winifred (insert your sisters’ names). I was also an altar boy from third grade until I graduated high school and I do not share the experience of so many abused boys in the news.

I believe in God, be She/He a supreme being or a highly evolved super intellect from a distant planet.

I have cover all my bases for the hereafter. I am getting close the THAT DAY.

Nine: When did we get so lazy? I am not talking about couch potato lazy but lazy with our wonderful language? We can’t type laugh out loud? We can’t say Jennifer Lopez? Spell check is making us all lazy and most times wrong. There, their and they’re all pass spell check but which one to use when? I once wrote a business proposal that I had worked on for a long time. Just before submission it was edited by a sales person and he added a confidentiality paragraph; except he wrote confidentially.

Was that the reason we didn’t get the work?

As writers we owe it to our craft not to short cut eloquence for brevity or substitute an emoji for substance of thought . Can I get an Amen?

Ten: I am a happy man.

I have dear, dear friends. There are only a few and I love them all. I have Mom, who is simply a Saint here on Earth. I am so Blessed that she is still with us. I know my three brothers and four sisters know exactly what I am talking about.

Everyone who has met Mary Ann loves her. Instantly.

My two adopted children make me prouder and happier every day. They are young adults now and venturing into the real world. Circumstance has returned them to my nest this year and I will cling to every day they are here because I know it is temporary. Soon they will fly and hopefully soar.

I have a good career, even if it is a “stereotypical” one. Business is fascinating to me and I have come to know and work with many, many incredible people. I hope they have enjoyed working with me half as much as I have enjoyed working with them.

Whatever it means, I hope to leave this World a better place.

This was fun. Thank you Ann Litts!